Kindle Review – Kindle 3 Review, iPad Review

J. A. Konrath’s latest move, signing with Amazon Encore, has been attacked harshly by the Agency Model Publishers.

A Publishing representative (who refused to be named) stated -

If all the good authors start signing elsewhere how are we going to afford our working lunches and the 90% of our books that don’t succeed.

It’s just unfair that authors whose books actually sell refuse to support those amongst their fellow authors who are terrible.

The representative went on to mention that Mr. Konrath is now assured of never getting a book contract with the Agency Model 5 and thus will lose his status as a ‘Publisher Accredited Author’. This would entail -

1. Having to remove the special ‘Publishers take 90% of my earnings’ bumper sticker from his car. 
2. No longer having the privilege of receiving rejection letters from Publishers.  
3. Not being able to live the life of a struggling artist. The Publishing executive said that J. A. Konrath might now end up making enough money to actually eat and drink - such circumstances would almost certainly destroy Mr. Konrath’s writing abilities.
4. Loss of membership in the Plebs section of the Arthur G. Robinson Private Club in New York.
5. End of access to magic fairy dust that makes Agency Model 5 Published Books 1,000% better than self-published books.

The representative was pretty clear that Mr. Konrath is now persona non grata in the grand halls and castles of the Agency Model Publishers.

Why the Agency Model 5 didn’t sign J. A. Konrath themselves

When it was pointed out that J. A. Konrath was previously published and that none of the Big 5 Publishers wanted to pick up his novels the Publishing representative grew irate. According to him the move made just too much sense -

He’s got a strong customer base and his books sell well and reviews of his books are very positive. There’s not much left for a Publisher to do.

We feel it doesn’t make good business sense to cash in on an almost certain hit when we could instead go with a risky author we think customers should like. It might not make money – However, it’s not about money. It’s about us getting to tell readers what’s good for them.

The Publishing Industry (according to our anonymous representative) isn’t meant to make money. Its sole aim is to frustrate authors and customers so they can better appreciate how marvellous books are.

Adding Insult to Injury

Another Publishing executive (who would also like to be anonymous) spoke specifically about J. A. Konrath’s lack of respect for the Publishing Industry’s time-honored tradition of releasing books at awkward times and in ways that are especially cumbersome for readers.

He was absolutely livid when told about what Mr. Konrath had said.

[J A Konrath] My Kindle readers have been incredibly faithful fans and I’m excited to be able to release the Kindle edition of ‘Shaken’ several months before the physical version is available to purchase,” said Konrath.

“Since it’s easier, faster and cheaper to create an e-book than it is a physical book, Kindle owners will get to read the seventh Jack Daniels before everyone else. The ability for authors to reach fans–instantly and inexpensively with a simple press of a button–is the greatest thing to happen to the written word since Gutenberg.”

The Publishing executive said it was unforgivable and irresponsible to release an ebook version early and give customers what they want. It went against everything the Publishing Industry stood for -

We specifically formulate how to most annoy customers and thereby increase their appreciation of the book when they get it.

We have spent centuries figuring out how to add numerous costs and delays to books – shipping, storage, ink, printing, staff. All these costs make book prices high and the dealys make getting books slow - this forces readers to appreciate what they’re getting.

We also make sure to mix in lots of terrible books so that readers fully appreciate the 10% of published books that are gems.

Now, with cheap and high quality ebooks, J. A. Konrath and Amazon Encore are threatening this entire edifice.

He also revealed that the entire ebook release delay initiative was simply a way for Publishers to help readers appreciate the value of books -

Things are too easy now. You’re sitting on the couch at night and you buy a book and you get it in 60 seconds.

When we were kids you had to walk for miles to find a bookstore. You had to fight mountain lions and yetis and swim across mighty rivers and tame wild camels to cross deserts. That’s how you learnt to treasure books. The unworthy couldn’t even reach the bookstore alive. 

It was clear from the two Publishing Industry executives that J. A. Konrath had crossed a sacrosanct line and they talked about the response from the Agency Model 5.  

The Boycott

The Agency Model 5 are now initiating a boycott of J. A. Konrath. Both representatives said that releasing the ebook as soon as it was ready, and thus before the physical book releases, was the last straw. It was such a logical, sensible, and pro-customer move that it goes against everything the Agency Model 5 stand for. 

They wouldn’t reveal any details of exactly what the bocycott would entail – They said that it would take a few years to figure out the appropriate actions and that they would have to do a feasibility analysis and bring in some experts. 

Note: There are no publishing executives – it’s all made up. More on J. A. Konrath’s pro-reader move at the official kindle forum.